Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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