I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
