He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize