the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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