I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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