cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
