You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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