The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
