He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
