someone get that fucking seahorse.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
