I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
