It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
