I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
