Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
