There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
