why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
