worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
