There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I believe in your delicious
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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