White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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