I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
