id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
