Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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