he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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