maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize