My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Buhtt sex?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
