I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
