I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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