I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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