im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
