Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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