Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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