next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please come you make the beer taste better
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I will be naked everywhere
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
