GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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