ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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