I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
