I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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