There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
