The maid of honor just puked.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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