well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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