Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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