Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
