I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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