i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
