ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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