He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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