Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
