Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
