I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
