did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
