Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I need moral support for this bender
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
