Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
