are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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