I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
