Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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