Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
