Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
