I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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