It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Life is so much better after having sex.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
