Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
