I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
