Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
