Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
