tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
