You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize