i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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