Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just cropdusted the office
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My vagina is officially offended.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
