I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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