Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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