I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
