Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
