Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
