I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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