im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
