I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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